I love mind-boggling cinema. As a movie connoisseur, I’ve watched and studied enough films to know the formula for most genres. Over the decades, the ingredients may adjust to society’s taste and relatability, but overall the concept has remained exact. A good horror movie has mystery, suspense, or even a few jump-scares. A memorable romance has sentimental dialogue, an emotional connection, and a kiss to seal the deal. Each film you’ve ever watched abides by a formula to fit its genre. If you’re lucky, you may come across a movie that tries to break the barriers or merge several genres to create a film that transcends time.
“Behind her Eyes” took the internet by storm when it aired on Netflix a few months ago. Initially, I scrolled past it without a second thought. The typical story of a man in a miserable marriage doesn’t appeal to me. A week later, I found myself peeking over my boyfriend’s shoulder as he devoured each episode.
As you can probably guess, there will be spoilers ahead.
If you haven’t watched the movie, the backstory is that Adele and her husband David are wrestling with their marriage when Louise comes into their lives. Louise is a single mother who is drawn into the couple’s life by coincidental mishaps. Louise and David have an encounter that leads to a passionate affair while Louise also befriends David’s wife, Adele. On the surface, Louise seems crazy. Neither spouse appears to know that Louise knows the other. And Louise is too in love with David and too empathetic towards Adele to end the relationship.
As things unravel, we find that Adele has been the one controlling all of the relationships. Adele can use astral projection to monitor her husband (and his mistress) and uses the information she’s gathered to pluck at Louise’s sympathy. When David threatens to leave Adele, she takes another step to up her game. After getting Louise to use astral projection, Adele takes over Louise’s body and kills her. As we get flashbacks of Adele’s life when she first discovered astral projection, we realize that Adele isn’t Adele at all. Unfortunately, Adele had fallen prey to her best friend, Rob’s, manipulation. While Rob possessed Adele’s body, he killed Adele in cold blood.
All in all, this was an excellent series that swirled through the lives of many people. I felt sad for Adele at first. I even defended her behavior as understandable when a person wants to fight for their marriage. She portrayed a loving housewife who couldn’t keep her husband’s attention anymore. But as the series unfolded, that love became twisted into obsession. And that obsession led to Adele and Louise dying in the process.
For the sake of clarity, I’ll refer to the new Adele and the new Louise as Rob.
Rob was a manipulator. I know I seem awed, but his techniques at using astral projections to collect enough information to use against people close to him were flawless. No one knew who he was. He portrayed the loving and thoughtful friend at every step of the way. Now, David started to realize that something was off and was confirmed when Rob harassed the first mistress; however, David continued to stay because he couldn’t unravel the mystery of who Rob was and how much he had done to secure their connection. Rob’s patterns through his obsession showed that David would never be able to escape his clutches.
The whole scenario gave me trust issues. Rob was a master of manipulation. He used these women’s weakness and sympathy to blaze a path to who he wanted. The relationship with the real Adele and real Louise seemed genuine and fulfilling. They both cared for him in his state and even tried to help him up until the end.
I’ve met people with similar characteristics, but never to this extent. I’ve had acquaintances who only wanted me around so they could benefit from my academic intelligence, money, or politeness. People who cast me aside once I no longer served their purpose. I can’t deny that the whole situation can be painful. The idea that there are people who exist to drain others is daunting yet true.
Although we can’t live our lives in isolation trying to avoid the Rob’s, there are things we can do to limit to people we come across that try to manipulated us.
- Trust your gut.
- Nine times out of ten, your gut told you that friend was up to something, and you ignored it. Stop ignoring that feeling and take time to understand the warning.
- Be a little more selfish.
- Don’t be conceited, but take the time to put yourself first. If you have a preference, express it. It’s never too late to re-evaluate a situation that doesn’t benefit you. You have one life. Don’t let anyone trick you into not living the best of it.
- Don’t make yourself small for the benefit of others.
- You are the leading lady/gentleman of your life. The lead lady/gentleman does not hide behind the supporting characters. They don’t mumble their lines or hide from the highs and lows of life. Do your best to achieve what you want unapologetically. (And if someone tries to hinder you, then you turn their supporting role into a silent extra.)
Trusting people and letting them into your life isn’t always easy. There’s always a possibility that you’ll meet a person like Rob, Adele, Louise or David. Sometimes that is unavoidable. Shake it off and keep moving forward. As you learn to meet people and gauge the value they bring, you’ll eventually develop a group that will support you and pushes you to be your best self.
D'Miria Collins 